Rejoice always?

Wow, another year has passed since I last wrote on this blog.  Here it is a year after the last post, and once again I'm feeling compelled to write.  I've found it always calms me, and helps me to focus.  Perhaps, it's a way to let out all that I hold inside.  Several months ago, I learned that I was being let go from my job.  They did give us nearly 3 months to find something, and it's nearing the end of that time, and I have yet to find anything.  I've been trying to be so strong through this all, after all that's the way a person following Christ is supposed to be right?  Strong and courageous.  I hear those words echoed over and over in my mind from scripture I have read, and yet I feel anything but strong and courageous right now.  I feel broken and worn out.  I know I have hope in God, and I know all his promises to never leave me nor forsake me.  In the midst of all the job searching, we've been trying to purchase a home, which may sound absurd, but there is an update from the last post.  My husband did find a job at a church as their Associate Pastor of Youth.  The only thing is it's in a town about an hour from us, and we believe firmly in living in the community that God calls us to serve in, and due to a lack of rental homes buying is the best option.  Well, the home buying process has been incredibly rough, it seemed to start out so great, and then started falling apart as the day to close got near.  That on top of having to search for work, and the long commute to the town we serve in has unfortunately left me mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. Then when you throw in the mix that Patrick and I have been trying unsuccessfully for over 2 years to have a child, and some days I feel the weight of that as well, it all has started to become overwhelming.  I know there are people out there going through way worse than we are, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm hurting.  It's 3 things right now that we have absolutely no control of but to wait and hope, and pray.  I don't even know what to pray anymore, do you ever reach that point?  All I do know, and all I cling to is that the Lord has been so faithful in the past, and I know he will take care of us no matter what, even if the house falls through, and I don't find a job right away, God will still be on His throne and will be providing for us.  Nothing can separate us from His love, and part of His love is His provision for us, our daily bread will be provided.  So in that I can rejoice, and take delight in my God. 

Lord, I know that you are with me, and that you know the hurt, the pain, the frustration we are currently facing. Help me to rejoice in you, your word says to rejoice always, to find my joy, my contentment in you and you alone.  


^" For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ¹¹ What father among you, if his son asks for^[d] a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; ¹² or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”  Luke 11:10-13

He's the Only Hope

It's funny I just started thinking about this blog of mine again. It's been almost exactly a year since I last posted. It's been amazing what God has done in that year. God did provide the jobs and even a place to live for us in the Dallas area. It has been an amazing testimony to His mercy and provision for our life. The church has been going well, and we've gotten to see families and people grow in the Lord, and several get saved, and baptized.

Recently, actually almost a month ago now, my hubby lost his job at the bank he had been working at. Even through that we've gotten to experience God at work, and so far we're doing okay. Right now, we're just seeking out where God may lead next, and what door He will open.

I heard a song on the radio one morning, more specifically right around the time when we were sure Patrick was about to lose his job. It was the Fee song "Everything Falls" and I put part of the lyrics below. They are a great reminder of these words spoken by Christ: "In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world" John 16:33 No matter what is going on, God is completely in control, He is still on the throne, and He will provide if you just hold on to Him.

You said
You'd never leave or forsake me
When you said
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You´re the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

How Great is Our God!

I was looking over my facebook page and saw the link to my blog and realized that I hadn't posted anything in two years. It was so amazing looking back at my old posts how so many of the things I had prayed and written about have come to be in my life.

I am now married, and living an amazing adventure with my husband seeking God and His will.

Here is something I once wrote in a blog: I know the thing to do is to let God continue to make me into the woman that God has designed me to be, and that my husband needs me to be. I know too that I must seek God first. The scripture does say after all to "seek God first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

That really stood out to me, because the verse of scripture I mentioned is the verse that my husband and I kept coming back to in seeing God's hand in bringing us together.

It's amazing how faithful God is to his word.

Right now, my husband and I are preparing for the next chapter in this adventure of life, planting a church. We're seeking out jobs, housing, and the resources to make the move to the Dallas area. Looking back over the faithfulness of our God I have no doubt that He has everything figured out.

Still Standing

So, in this time of what seems like great uncertainty, though nothing is truly certain other than God and His promises, I am finding a great strength and peace that I believe can only come from God.

You see there are two things that I desire more than anything, and despite my waiting, and some seeking they seem to be the most impossible things to attain. One is a position in full time youth ministry, and the other is a Godly man to share this crazy adventure called life with. For the churches it seems I don't have enough experience. I could just sit and feel sorry for myself maybe even find a few others to pity me, but that would simply be giving in to what the rest of the world seems to think. However, I'm choosing to rely on Christ. I'm holding on to the hope that he has a plan and a future for my life. That even when the world seems like it's falling out from under me, I'll be found in Him, still standing.

Luggage

Wow, so tonight I heard a message that spoke right to my current situation. It was as if God truly had me at that place right at that time for a reason. The message was on luggage those things we carry with us whether they are hurtful words, wounds from past relationships, being surrounded even currently with negative people, unforgiveness, or just any of the other junk of life that can throw our way. The speaker talked about how those things can keep us from truly experiencing all that God has for us and the life he desires for us to live.

I know in my life I've have had a battle with some negative words at time from someone very close to me. This has many times left me feeling defeated. Then I've had many not so great relationships both friendships and in dating. Then there are the countless times I've gone on interviews and sent out resumes to churches as I've sought out pursuing my call to ministry to have it lead no where. I'll be the first to admit that lately the weight of all these has seemed to be piling up. However, the words spoken tonight helped breathe God's truth into my life right when it was what I needed.

The truth is we all have our own junk or luggage either of things in the past or things that are currently going on. However, the greater truth is that there is a God who sees all that is going on in our lives and genuinely cares. He has a plan for us that is to prosper and not to harm us. So often it's hard to truly believe that when things are happening that we simply can't understand.

The past actions or things done by others, or things that have happened don't have to define our future. God has a plan, and has given each of us dreams that often this world tries to drown out. Too often we try to keep control over those things and try to somehow maneuver things and use our own ability to make things happen. We must turn those hopes and dreams over to him along with our baggage. This takes complete surrender, and trusting in God to be our shield, our defender, and our provider.

Patriot Day

So, on KSBJ they were talking about the anniversary of 9/11 coming up that has now been called Patriot Day. They were asking people to remember those that have given up their lives for our country. However, lately I've been thinking about how as disciples of Christ we are part of a greater nation, the kingdom of God. It is serving God, and following Christ that should demand our greatest allegiance. Just like this country, the kingdom of God has been built up by people who have given their lives for what they believe in. When you look at the early church they faced such persecution and hardships that for many ended in death.

So, this coming 9/11 I chose to turn my attention to remembering not only the One who gave His life so I can live, but to all those that have followed Christ before me and suffered for the cause of Christ so that I too might come to know Christ and believe. Not only should it serve as a reminder, but I pray for a renewed sense of calling to show Christ's love in this world no matter the cost.

Right now all over the world there are citizens of Christ's kingdom in countries where they are being persecuted, sought out, and killed. However, in the face of such challenges, they are continuing to grow and press forward. We all ought to catch hold of that spirit!!!

To follow Christ is to live a life that is counter that of the world. It is a call to stop calling your own plays, to love generously, to forgive, and to serve one another with compassion. It isn't easy, and it commands that all of us become patriots.

So, on Patriot Day, and even right now, I invite you to ask yourself where your allegiance is directed and believe me I will be doing the same.

Joyful in Hope

So, it's been awhile since I've written. A bunch has happened in the past couple of months, and God has definitely been at work. I'm not necessarily where I thought I'd be, but my life is amazingly great. After several months of waiting, searching, and interviewing for youth ministry positions I feel I've found where I'm meant to be. The most surprising thing of it all was that it was right in front of me the whole time. In my Sunday morning small group we've been going through the book of Acts and talking about the early church. The early church leaders were filled with an urgency and passion to tell people about Christ, and they didn't merely wait for opportunities, they seized the moments they were in and made things happen. It occurred to me that in my waiting I wasn't using my gifts and not using the precious time God has given to me. Then the question occurred to me, why wasn't I helping out with my church's youth? I mean I clearly know that is an area I'm called to, and I'm passionate about. I wasn't really doing anything except merely talking with church after church about my vision and passion for youth, while essentially doing nothing . So, I started to seek out getting involved with the students at my church, and while it's as a volunteer, I can't help but feel it's where God wants me. I'm actually working at another law firm, and while there is the hope of doing youth ministry someday full-time, I feel so blessed to be apart of all that is going on at my church. I just started helping with the MS students. There are soooo many of them, and it's exciting!!! I'm currently just learning to trust God, and be content. He knows my heart, the dreams I have, the visions He has given me, and I'm learning to be "joyful in hope".